Darwin: also known as...

For some bizarre reason, the hoomans like to invent new names for me all the time. I don’t know why. Darwin is a perfectly adequate name. It’s quick and easy to say and it isn’t as embarrassing as some names other poor kitties have to endure. Think of all those Fluffys or Tiddles’ getting the beatdown each night in the local alleyway because they have silly girly names. I will admit I do rather like the full name the hoomans gave me – Charles Darwin Longfellow III. I can’t understand why the hoomans giggle when they say it. They say (in between guffaws) they imagine me in a top hat with a tuxedo, monocle and a cane. What’s so funny about that?

They make up ridiculous names for me like Mr Brown and Spot and Darwin Wobble and sometimes even offensive names like Pest and Get-Off-The-Bench. Do I deserve these names? No, I do not.

Just this week, mum hooman started calling me Sir Purrsalot. I’ll give her the “Sir” part of it but that is all. I suppose this is better than the name big sis got lumbered with which was Dame Growlsalot.

I thought I'd see if I could come up with my own manly and handsome sounding nickname, so I went to a nickname generator on the net and filled out a little quiz. The nickname it came up with from my answers was...wait for it....Smoochie Cuddlekins. GAH!

What nicknames have your hoomans bestowed upon you? Or are your hoomans normal and just call you by your regular name?