The plane! The plane! And the poopy puppy

My plane is in the hangar for repairs! A certain puppy (who shall remain nameless, but let's just say her name starts with J and rhymes with grossie) thinks that chewing my aircraft's propeller makes for good entertainment.

This annoys me immensely. I don't go chewing on any of her stuff do I? Well OK, I *may* have stolen one of her beloved chicken necks the other day during one of my many missions onto the kitchen bench.

These bench missions are becoming more frequent lately. Everything I want is up there - chicken necks, Party Mix and no puppy!

Along with my bench missions, other things I've been doing plenty of to prove I am still the ruler of the house are:

• Meow-ling (that's a meow and a growl mixed together for those not in the know) a lot.
• Diving into the puppy's room and skulking about. I even used her gigantic doggy door the other day much to the hoomans' amusement (why is this funny?)
• And finally, I've been picking fights with puppy to get her into trouble. I meowl and stare at her and then she barks and wags her tail. This causes the hoomans to tell her off. Heh!

On an unrelated note, check me out in these two photos. They were both taken within about two minutes of each other a couple of nights ago. In the first, I'm chilling in a very dignified manner on dad hooman's lap (check out my hooman-like shoulders!) and in the next I'm standing on the coffee table in the way of the telly, looking ravishing. Who needs TV when you have me?

I am so very comfortable.

Gordon Ramsay, or me. The choice is easy.